Simple expression of standing up for personal rights, beliefs, feelings or opinions.
Example: When being interrupted, "Excuse me, I'd like to finish what I'm saying."
Recognition of other person's situation or feelings followed by another statement standing up for speaker's rights.
Example: "I know you are feeling angry and frustrated while you wait for a response. But, the best I can do is give you a ballpark estimate of how long It will take."
Start with a "minimal" assertive response... Other fails to respond... Gradually escalate the assertion?--increasingly firm without being aggressive.
Example: From the first example, "I know what you have to say is important but I really want to finish what I was saying." "I really want to finish before you begin to speak."
Describe what was to be done... Describe what actually occurred... Express what you want.t.
Example: "I told you to complete the forms by November 15, and you agreed to do so. Now it is January 15 and you are telling me that you forgot the forms but you still expect to complete our business on time. What is it that you want me to do?"
Description of behavior: "When you __________ ,"
How it affects you life: "It affects __________ ,"
Describe your feelings: "and I feel __________ ;"
Describe your desire: "Therefore, I would like __________ ."
Example: "When you shout the effect is I am unable to work with you and I feel angry. Therefore, I would like for you to stop shouting and tell me what you want."
Expressing positive feelings about yourself or someone else.
Examples: "I'm glad you came back to see me." "I did a good job working with that upset student."
Sometimes called "Broken Record." Opposite of escalation. Simple, calm, repetition--saying what you want over and over again, rote repetition.
Example: "You said you would complete this form and there is missing information."...A sarcastic reply... "The form has not been completed." ...Another comment... "I have to have this form completed."
Acknowledging possibility of truth to what other person is saying--agreeing in concept but not necessarily in fact. t.
Example: "I know these rules may appear to make no sense, but they are the procedures I must use."